C L E T A N I S M


Ever since their formation in 1958, initially led by Beanie Attles, who left the group in 1960 after an ankle-unrelated injury, The Beatles were a pop, rock, sock ‘n’ tock British band that moved the music scene forward. That said, There is countless evidence of communication attempts between the Fag Four and the Onclaxian Empire.
For starters, in the enigmatic Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, a star-shaped arrangement of flowers is shown, a clear signal to the Stars. The same star arrangement was present in the popularized Strawberry Field, the last location of the pronounced-dead James Paul McCartney, before shortly being replaced by William Campbell Shepherd.

Around the same time, the group began wearing more unique hairstyles from their adorkable and CLEARLY WIG-LIKE Mop-top styled haircuts. The choice of hairstyle for guitarist George Harrison, however, clearly shows steep curves pointing to the sky, in the direction of the Onclaxians. During research, it was also uncovered that soon-to-be King of Ireland, John Winston Lennon, also sported similar symbology during 1965.

In the infamous 1968 self-titled LP’s alternative scrapped cover, the decoration in the title of the band shows, once again, the star motif in it’s arrows.

Now, onto song lyrics. The fabled “Revolution 9” is rumored to represent the cellular division process of a Morbleite organism. The first words spoken, “Number Nine”, indicate the number of initial homologous chromosomes of a Morbleite mother cell. The cacophony of sounds that follow represent the cell in its interphase state, slowly escalating in intensity, according to the increase in cellular activity.
From the same album, the opening to side B, “Birthday”, is, as the title suggests, a birthday song. According to producer George “George 2”Martin, it was recorded on September 18th. A rather random date, wouldn’t you say? No, you swine! It matches the Mayan-calender converted date of the creation of The Bohemian.
The song “Happiness is a Warm Gun” is a song about John Lennon wanting to fuck a rifle.
In “Yer Blues”, John Lennon says “My mother was of the sky, my father was of the Earth, but I am from the Universe”. I think we all know what this means: He still wants to fuck that rifle.
The Beatles also have various sorts of unreleased songs. The song “Palace of the King of the Birds” is, supposedly, the musical recreation of William Campbell Shepherd’s dream of the Onclaxian Empire’s home kingdom. When asked about the song, Shepherd commented: “Y’know?”
And, if all of that was not enough, the most important clue, by far, resides in the band’s drummer : Ringo STARR. Being the latest addition of the band, Ronald Stardom, otherwise known as Ringo, is believed to be a morbleite infiltrate, who influenced most communication attempts between the band and the Onclaxians.